May, 2004
While attending a recent Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) workshop I asked a friend (who happens to be a TBI survivor) if she was having a good time and learning a lot, and I was most unprepared for the response I got. "It's good not to feel isolated for a change", was her response. This led to a rather in-depth conversation on how societal attitudes give her a felling of isolation, sometimes even within her own family. She told me how good it was to network with other survivors, caregivers and professionals that did not impose barrier attitudes on her.
Since then, I can't seem to get the word "isolation" out of my mind. I think back to my time in the military, training young men for the possibility of becoming a POW, watching how isolation could quickly breakdown even the most "John Wayne" of men and make them confess to the most horrible of war crimes. I think of how our society uses "isolation" as a behavior modification tool. What do you think "time out" is for a child? What is "solitary confinement" to a prisoner? Isn't shunning a method of punishment in some religions and cultures?
Given these uses of isolation as punishment or behavior modification by our society, then can someone please explain to me why so many people with disabilities feel "ISOLATED". Could it be because many times, members of our own families don't accept us? My stepfather telling me to "stop that nervous twitching" did nothing to help me either understand or control my facial ticks, but it sure drove me into seclusion whenever I felt them coming on. Talk about feeling isolated!
Could it be that from the earliest moments in our lives we see our parents (hopefully) working hard to give us the same opportunities as others? Why do they have to fight so hard to gain access to accommodations that are mandated by law and why are they so frustrated? Why have we not fully implemented the American with Disabilities Act, and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act? If our children with disabilities can't get an appropriate education because some teachers view them as less important than the "other 26 children" then how can they not feel isolated?
Could it be that when a person acquires a disability later in life they are suddenly "beginning life all over again". Learning new ways to do things. Learning that there are obstacles they never before noticed like high thresholds, like small print menus, like needing an accessible parking place and not being able to find one. All of these serve to isolate the individual with a disability from successfully living their life. Now add to this changes in relationships within the family, work place and social circle and you begin to gain an appreciation of how isolation becomes significant.
On the news last night I saw a report on a Viet Nam war veteran who every day visits our returning wounded at Walter Reed Medical Center in Washington D.C. They cal him the "Milkshake Man" as he takes them milkshakes as an icebreaker, and when they are ready, he engages them in conversation about how their lives have changed, what their plans are, etc. His efforts help relieve them of the feeling of isolation. He doesn't have to do this. He pays for the shakes himself. But he has been there and understands that feeling of isolation because he lost both his legs below the knee as a result of a land mine explosion. Maybe we can take a lesson from the "Milkshake Man". With a just little effort, we can all help our fellow human beings escape the feeling of isolation.
Always remember - Disability is a random event that can occur in any life, at any moment.
- Michael Bradshaw, Central Coast Center for Independent Living